I wanted to start a whole new blog for several reasons. First, after an event that took place in my life my old blog felt a little shallow. And with that I feel I should explain. I've made some mistakes in my life, some I'm not proud of and others I've learned from. Through them, I became depressed and was desperate for attention and love. I was divorced and lonely and decided to try online dating. I met some people and tried to force relationships none of which were healthy. Then one day I met someone who showed me all sorts of attention and even though my gut was telling me to run in the opposite direction I soaked up all of the attention he was giving me. One night after spending too much time at his house I was too tired (and little did I know at this point it was because I was being drugged) to drive home so I fell asleep on his couch. I "woke" up in the middle of the night slighly aware of what was happening but was too "asleep" to do anything about it. Now you would think that this would have been enough to send me running but no, I stupidly told myself that I must have dreamed it and went on dating him. Until a month later when I found out I was pregnant. I was devastated and it sent me into a whirl wind depression. I thought long and hard about it and I came to the conclusion that it was not this little child's fault that it had a monster for a sperm donor so I decided to keep it. But my battle didn't end there. Now I know what you're wondering. What happened to the guy. Sadly nothing. He doesn't live in the same state as me and his state told me I couldn't prove it. It was his word against mine. Nice huh. He even tried to fight me for custody once my beautiful daughter was born. Thankfully he didn't follow through with anything that the courts in my state said he had to do so at this point she's all mine. And the courts have even protected her for any future proceedings he may try to bring about. I don't think I've heard that last of him. Now that my little rant is over it brings me to this blog. I'm still getting over bouts of depression. Don't get me wrong....I love my daughter. I hate how I got her but I wouldn't trade her for the world. I also still love the fashion/beauty/hair world. I'm just trying to put my priorities in order at the moment. I'm struggling with some things right now and I'm sure I'm not alone. I'm still trying to loose baby weight, find a job in a tough economy, and raise a child as a single mother. This is my journey......
