I'm becoming my mother

I think I'm becoming my mother.  Not that it's a bad thing.  She is after all my best friend.  She is one of those people who is constantly learning and going to school. I now have the itch to go back to school even though I am currently in massage therapy school.  I do want to finish that but I also feel like I should be doing something else too.  It might have something to do with the fact that I am not happy with my current job.  It's not that I don't like what I do either per say.  I do like being a hairstylist.  It's just with everything that went on last week with this one girl I work with I have no desire to be there anymore.  However it's not like I can just walk away.  I have a little one at home I have to think of.  She's part of the reason I want to go back to school too.  I feel like I need to better myself for her to give her the life she deserves.  She deserves the best especially considering the way she came to be.  I don't ever want her to feel bad about any thing in life or like she's to blame for anything.  I may not like how I got her but she's one of the best things I have in my life.

sometimes it's just a job

More and more I wonder if I'm really happy being a hairstylist.  I like it, I'm just not sure if I love it.  I know I'm good at it but I don't think I'm great at it.  Part of it I feel is the education I received. I know I did not get the best education.  I have always said if I could do it all over again I would go to a different school.  The school I went too did not really care about it's students.  It cared more about the money.  They did not really teach everything that the students would need to know once we were out in our perspective salons.  Maybe that's part of my problem.  And if I had more money I would take more continuing education classes but they have been out of my price range.  Every time I think I'm getting ahead something comes up.  I am enjoying my massage therapy classes.  Maybe I'll just pursue that angle once I'm finished.  I will say this. If I continue feeling unhappy I will look at other opportunities even if that means no longer being a hairstylist.

make money while you shop

These days I'm so busy I'm lucky if I have any time for myself.  I get up, take care of my daughter, try to squeeze in a shower, go to work, rush home, and have play time with my daughter before it's time for bed.  So any shopping I do is mostly online.  If I can make money while I'm shopping that makes it even better. When I first heard about ebates my first thought was yeah right.  But I tried it out and you know what....it works.  And I absolutely love it.  Want to give it a try? Go here to sign up,

http://www.ebates.com/rf.do?referrerid=4PKSwIc5nB6ldsGgA%2B7mXg%3D%3D

wow exhausted doesn't cover it...

So I'm glad I have a job.  Really I am.  I definitely needed it.  But I think they are trying to kill me.  I am a hair stylist and the salon I work at is giving free kids cuts as a back to school special the whole month of August.  I've had nothing but back to back to back kids all day long. I wouldn't mind so much if kids could sit still, if the parents would help control their kids, and if the parents were not nasty about it.  I mean come on! You're getting the hair cut for free!  Now not all have been bad but most have.  And I realize they are kids and they have pent up energy.  I am a mother after all.  But when I am out with my child and she is not behaving I at least attempt to make her behave and if she doesn't well that's when we go to the car.  I'm sure this is just the exhaustion making me rant but I can't help myself!  Now that I'm done, I'm going to go enjoy my only day off for a while.  I'll be glad when August is over!

decsions decsions....

I've been in a massage therapy program for a couple of months now and I'm trying to decide if I want to continue with it.  Don't get me wrong I do enjoy it.  I just don't enjoy it as much as I thought I would.  I already have my cosmetology license and my goal is to one day open my own full service spa.  My plan was to be well diverse in all aspects of the spa industry in order to best service my clients.  While I do like the massage program I'm just not sure if I should continue with it since I have been without a job for so long and it's not quite like I thought it would be.  My main issue with quitting is 1. I absolutely hate to quit things and 2. I haven't been through enough of the program to really decide how I feel about it.  I guess it's something I'm going to have to think long and hard about.  My main priority will always be my daughter.

pure exhaustion

Well I had my daughters 1st birthday party yesterday and I must say I'm glad it's over because this momma is exhausted! It was a huge success though and I know everyone had a lot of fun including my daughter.  I will never make one of the decorations that I made for her ever again though.  I found it on pinterest and it took me 5 days, 5 trips to Micheal's, around $80, and lots of back breaking yoga moves to complete.  And to top it all off the wind kept blowing it over because the base wasn't heavy enough so it's pretty much destroyed.  Yeah pretty upset about it. I guess you live and learn though.  All in all it was a pretty good day.

On a side note, I finally got a job!  Hopefully things will finally start looking up for me.  The stress has been killing me.

Being broke really sucks...

So I've been looking for a job for well over a year now with no luck. I've almost completely gone through my savings in the process. At this point I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I've already moved back in with my parents. With an infant I really had no choice.  Not that I really mind.  I don't mind my parents at all and my daughter absolutely loves it.  And she's not spoiled at all (notice the sarcasm there).  The problem is I'm becoming increasing depressed with the no job situation.  I question myself everyday wondering what could be wrong with me that no one will hire me.  Deep down I realize that it's the economy but it's still not good for the self esteem.  I need to find something and I need to find it fast.