Hitrecord Concert

Last night one of my best friends and I went to Joseph Gordon-Levitt's Hitrecord Concert.  I didn't know what to expect when I bought the tickets but boy am I glad I went.  I was highly entertained.  We had a total blast!  I would definitely recommend going to see him in concert if you get the chance.  It's not your typical concert.  It's not music and it's not stand up comedy.  It's actually hard to explain.  He plays a series of short films, brings people on stage for various things, talks about his company, and does a variety of things.  You will be entertain throughout the entire night.  It was nice to get away and do something different for a change and I thank Joe for giving me a night to remember. 

I'm becoming my mother

I think I'm becoming my mother.  Not that it's a bad thing.  She is after all my best friend.  She is one of those people who is constantly learning and going to school. I now have the itch to go back to school even though I am currently in massage therapy school.  I do want to finish that but I also feel like I should be doing something else too.  It might have something to do with the fact that I am not happy with my current job.  It's not that I don't like what I do either per say.  I do like being a hairstylist.  It's just with everything that went on last week with this one girl I work with I have no desire to be there anymore.  However it's not like I can just walk away.  I have a little one at home I have to think of.  She's part of the reason I want to go back to school too.  I feel like I need to better myself for her to give her the life she deserves.  She deserves the best especially considering the way she came to be.  I don't ever want her to feel bad about any thing in life or like she's to blame for anything.  I may not like how I got her but she's one of the best things I have in my life.

sometimes it's just a job

More and more I wonder if I'm really happy being a hairstylist.  I like it, I'm just not sure if I love it.  I know I'm good at it but I don't think I'm great at it.  Part of it I feel is the education I received. I know I did not get the best education.  I have always said if I could do it all over again I would go to a different school.  The school I went too did not really care about it's students.  It cared more about the money.  They did not really teach everything that the students would need to know once we were out in our perspective salons.  Maybe that's part of my problem.  And if I had more money I would take more continuing education classes but they have been out of my price range.  Every time I think I'm getting ahead something comes up.  I am enjoying my massage therapy classes.  Maybe I'll just pursue that angle once I'm finished.  I will say this. If I continue feeling unhappy I will look at other opportunities even if that means no longer being a hairstylist.

make money while you shop

These days I'm so busy I'm lucky if I have any time for myself.  I get up, take care of my daughter, try to squeeze in a shower, go to work, rush home, and have play time with my daughter before it's time for bed.  So any shopping I do is mostly online.  If I can make money while I'm shopping that makes it even better. When I first heard about ebates my first thought was yeah right.  But I tried it out and you know what....it works.  And I absolutely love it.  Want to give it a try? Go here to sign up,

http://www.ebates.com/rf.do?referrerid=4PKSwIc5nB6ldsGgA%2B7mXg%3D%3D

wow exhausted doesn't cover it...

So I'm glad I have a job.  Really I am.  I definitely needed it.  But I think they are trying to kill me.  I am a hair stylist and the salon I work at is giving free kids cuts as a back to school special the whole month of August.  I've had nothing but back to back to back kids all day long. I wouldn't mind so much if kids could sit still, if the parents would help control their kids, and if the parents were not nasty about it.  I mean come on! You're getting the hair cut for free!  Now not all have been bad but most have.  And I realize they are kids and they have pent up energy.  I am a mother after all.  But when I am out with my child and she is not behaving I at least attempt to make her behave and if she doesn't well that's when we go to the car.  I'm sure this is just the exhaustion making me rant but I can't help myself!  Now that I'm done, I'm going to go enjoy my only day off for a while.  I'll be glad when August is over!

decsions decsions....

I've been in a massage therapy program for a couple of months now and I'm trying to decide if I want to continue with it.  Don't get me wrong I do enjoy it.  I just don't enjoy it as much as I thought I would.  I already have my cosmetology license and my goal is to one day open my own full service spa.  My plan was to be well diverse in all aspects of the spa industry in order to best service my clients.  While I do like the massage program I'm just not sure if I should continue with it since I have been without a job for so long and it's not quite like I thought it would be.  My main issue with quitting is 1. I absolutely hate to quit things and 2. I haven't been through enough of the program to really decide how I feel about it.  I guess it's something I'm going to have to think long and hard about.  My main priority will always be my daughter.

pure exhaustion

Well I had my daughters 1st birthday party yesterday and I must say I'm glad it's over because this momma is exhausted! It was a huge success though and I know everyone had a lot of fun including my daughter.  I will never make one of the decorations that I made for her ever again though.  I found it on pinterest and it took me 5 days, 5 trips to Micheal's, around $80, and lots of back breaking yoga moves to complete.  And to top it all off the wind kept blowing it over because the base wasn't heavy enough so it's pretty much destroyed.  Yeah pretty upset about it. I guess you live and learn though.  All in all it was a pretty good day.

On a side note, I finally got a job!  Hopefully things will finally start looking up for me.  The stress has been killing me.

Being broke really sucks...

So I've been looking for a job for well over a year now with no luck. I've almost completely gone through my savings in the process. At this point I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I've already moved back in with my parents. With an infant I really had no choice.  Not that I really mind.  I don't mind my parents at all and my daughter absolutely loves it.  And she's not spoiled at all (notice the sarcasm there).  The problem is I'm becoming increasing depressed with the no job situation.  I question myself everyday wondering what could be wrong with me that no one will hire me.  Deep down I realize that it's the economy but it's still not good for the self esteem.  I need to find something and I need to find it fast.

weight troubles

So I'm beginning to think I might have a thyroid problem.  I've been walking some what regularly since April and have been doing some resistance training every night since June.  I've cut out all sodas and for the most part all fast food.  I'll indulge every now and then but it's rare.  And I have lost absolutely nothing.  Not 1 pound.  Now I'll admit I don't eat the greatest but I would think I would have lost something.  I know that when you have a baby it takes a while for your hormones to get regulated again but my daughter will be 1 next week.  I'm sure by now everything should in theory be back to normal.  I don't know much about thyroid problems and I hate researching things online because I never know how accurate things are.  I hate going to the doctor too but I think it might be about that time.  It's getting to the point that I get very depressed trying to get dressed in the mornings.  I don't have a lot of clothes that fit and with no job I don't have money to invest in new clothing.  I think I need to suck it up and call the doctor.... 

true friendship

What is true friendship? A true friend is someone who is always there for you through think and thin.  They celebrate your accomplishments and feel your pain in moments of sorrow.  They don't judge your insecurities or quirks. They build you up and help you see your true potential. They are not cookie cutter images of yourself.  They do not have to have to same beliefs as you but they should not look down on yours. This past week has been hard for me.  I have had to get rid of some toxic "friendships" who did nothing but bring me down.  To them I was always wrong and my beliefs were stupid and naive.  Now I have always believed that everyone has a right to believe the way they want.  I would never tell someone that what they believe is wrong.  It's simply a matter of opinion and as long as someone is not hurting another or it's not illegal then it should be left alone.  I am first and foremost a Christian and a mother who believes kindness and generosity should come before anything else.  I would never tell anyone how to live their lives and believe in spreading love and kindness where ever I go.  To me that is what being a true friend is.

a few of my favorite things

With Pinterest being such a big hit these days everyone can create their own inspiration boards.  I thought I'd share a few of my favorite things off of some of my boards.  If you want to follow me go here Michellesworld1

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This one especially makes me laugh :)

daughter's first bday

First, I notice people are reading but no one's following....Why oh why?  Anyways...


My daughters first birthday is coming up and I can hardly wait.  I'm having a Minnie Mouse theme because well she absolutely loves her. When ever Mickey Mouse Club House comes on you better not be in her way or she will literally push you out of the way to see it.  I've been looking online for ideas and I've come across a few things to try and make.  I'm hoping it all comes together and looks great.  Here are just a few of the things I've found.  All images have come from catchmyparty.com

I will post pictures of the whole party (minus my daughter because, well I don't want her face all over the internet) after the event.

an irritation and diet pills post

First I have to get something off my chest.  I've been interviewing at several salons recently and there was one in particular that I really wanted to work at.  They called me in 5 separate times.  Twice to interview and then I shadowed a stylist on 2 different days.  They basically implied that I had the job but the owner told me that she wouldn't be able to actually start the hiring process until she got back from vacation.  Now this went on for 4 weeks.  Well I was told that if I hadn't heard by today that I should call them so I did.  And they told me that they were very sorry but they were not hiring at this time.  Really?! You're not hiring? Then why did you string me along for 4 weeks, bring me in 5 different times and waste my time.  Not to mention that I had been offered a position at another salon that I have been waiting to hear from this salon before I answered.  I'm hoping at this point I will still be able to work for the other salon and that they did not give it to someone else.  I haven't been able to find work in over a year and really need a job so thanks a lot stupid salon!

Ok now that I have that off my chest on to other things....

Has anyone out there ever tried any of the many diet pills out there and if so how do you feel about them?  I've been thinking about trying one but am a little leery about them.  There's so many on the market these days from the NV diet, to phencol, to sensa, that it's hard to determine which is just hype and which is genuine.

weight struggles

I've always struggled with weight.  In high school I was basically anorexic.  I would fill up a zip lock bag full of cereal and that's all I would eat all day long.  It didn't help that I was a cheerleader and I had to wear the skimpy outfits.  I felt the pressure to look extra thin.  Now I'm struggling to loose the weight I gained while pregnant.  It hasn't been easy.  I've been going through bouts of depression coming to terms what happened to me and it has made trying to loose weight hard.  The fact that I have no discipline what so ever doesn't help either. I have managed to cut out sodas and have lost 3 pounds so far.  I just need to figure out a better way to cope and loose the weight.  Any suggestions out there?

I wanted to start a whole new blog for several reasons.  First, after an event that took place in my life my old blog felt a little shallow. And with that I feel I should explain.  I've made some mistakes in my life, some I'm not proud of and others I've learned from.  Through them, I became depressed and was desperate for attention and love.  I was divorced and lonely and decided to try online dating.  I met some people and tried to force relationships none of which were healthy.  Then one day I met someone who showed me all sorts of attention and even though my gut was telling me to run in the opposite direction I soaked up all of the attention he was giving me.  One night after spending too much time at his house I was too tired (and little did I know at this point it was because I was being drugged) to drive home so I fell asleep on his couch.  I "woke" up in the middle of the night slighly aware of what was happening but was too "asleep" to do anything about it.  Now you would think that this would have been enough to send me running but no, I stupidly told myself that I must have  dreamed it and went on dating him. Until a month later when I found out I was pregnant. I was devastated and it sent me into a whirl wind depression.  I thought long and hard about it and I came to the conclusion that it was not this little child's fault that it had a monster for a sperm donor so I decided to keep it.  But my battle didn't end there.  Now I know what you're wondering.  What happened to the guy.  Sadly nothing.  He doesn't live in the same state as me and his state told me I couldn't prove it.  It was his word against mine. Nice huh.  He even tried to fight me for custody once my beautiful daughter was born.  Thankfully he didn't follow through with anything that the courts in my state said he had to do so at this point she's all mine.  And the courts have even protected her for any future proceedings he may try to bring about. I don't think I've heard that last of him.  Now that my little rant is over it brings me to this blog.  I'm still getting over bouts of depression.  Don't get me wrong....I love my daughter.  I hate how I got her but I wouldn't trade her for the world.  I also still love the fashion/beauty/hair world.  I'm just trying to put my priorities in order at the moment.  I'm struggling with some things right now and I'm sure I'm not alone. I'm still trying to loose baby weight, find a job in a tough economy, and raise a child as a single mother.  This is my journey......